Halloween!! No case race. Still, a solid night.
It started out not great. I was stuck at home late, due to the laziness of the Chinese service-people at our local Chinatown. Sped to tufts. Rang the doorbell (I had lost my keys in my haste), the Tin Man answers! Judah is completely covered in silver. His catchphrase for the night? "Guess what color my dick is." Oh, Judah, the ladies' man. Guess how much action he got last night.
They gave me all of ten minutes to get completely ready. Fortunately I'm a natural beauty, so I looked good nonetheless. When Judah first saw me dressed up, he told me, "If I were a man, who was interested in women, who were interested in men, I'd fuck you." I was quite flattered, because I knew he meant it. After a round of icky peppermint schnapps shots to start my night, followed by chugging a glass of water to remove the taste of icky peppermint schapps, we hit the yellow brick road. Turns out, not everyone was as prepared as I to be in character. I seemed to be the only one (Okay, give Judah props, he knew some good ones) who knew the songs. I sang loudly enough for everyone though.
We went to Sogo. Fun stuff. I've never been in Sogo before!! So that was particularly exciting. Did you guys know Sogo is nice? Maybe we should just live there next year. Then came Josh Dockser's house, was jealous of his house, went to Rory's. Party was bumpin'. There were two kegs and a bathtub filled of ice! That's how chill it was. Lolz, I hate myself. Oh! On the way from Josh's, Ashton and I were standing next to each other when I hear the sounds of flowing liquid. Ashton peeing right next to me. Duh. Luckily my ruby slippers did not meet the same fate as my frat flats, as Ashton has better aim (or worse, depending on his goals) than fall ball girl. Ashton needs more boundaries, however.
At Rory's we played some slap cup. The first game sucked. The only interesting part was when I saw a penis. A guy across the table from me whipped his out and started showing it off to his friend. Somehow, I was the only one to notice this exchange. His friend said to him, "Dude, slap cup isn't that sort of game" and made him put it away. But not until I saw my... (Judah, you must keep better count than I do) Penis #6, I think. So, cool stuff. Also playing slap cup was a priest standing next to me, who had me teach him to play then tried to have sex with me. Sorry priest, I am no nine year old boy. I will not fall for your tricks.
The whole night people LOVED our costume. Obvi. But every time anyone complimented me, the boys made me tell the strangers that I was not Dorothy, I was Whorothy. But really, I could have been SO much sluttier. I was not Whorothy.
In Rory's kitchen we met up with a Theta Chi pledge, James the Boxer. He stole my beer from me, told me he could chug faster than any other man in the world, then chugged my entire beer in maybe .5 seconds. I was too impressed to be mad. Then he said Wittman Sucks, so I was mad. So I slapped him in the face. But all in all, he's a pretty cool dude.
I decided I was done with Rory's eventually, so I decided that we should go to Theta Chi! Yay! So we went to Theta Chi! Not so many people there, but there were plenty of ruit tables, which was just what I was hoping for. Cooks and I versus all of India, this time. Really. In the basement was 75% all of Adi's harem. Crazy stuff. Cookie and I sucked. We're used to our short Team Walker table, we just couldn't get the distance. But fortunately, ruit is one thing that can't be outsourced. Cookie and I won! Then, obviously it was time for Helen's. We went back to Walker Street ordered my first Helen's of the semester (!!!!), and skyped with Nick Stone. Which was fun. Especially when we got to shove Helen's in his face, and he couldn't have any because he's in China. The bluezone was delish, but then it was time for bed!
What do we think? Good Halloween? Not supes exciting, but no one puked, so it has that going for it.
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Friday, October 29, 2010
Return of the Bonesaw.
Last night, I went upstairs to start my homework for next week. As I was calculating the primary stresses of a medium dense clay soil due to the consolidation process, I realized something. Bonesaw was ready.
Fortunately enough, I had an invite to a very elite, totally cool party: Ashton and Dan were hosting an Environmental Engineering bash at our house. There were at least eight people in our house last night!
So, I put away my calculator, threw on my jeggings, cracked open the beer ball, and was good to go.
First up, a round of ledger, Bash Brone style. Was that the name we came up with for me and Ashton? Something like that. Versus Dookie. Who do you think won? Exactly. BONESAW FOR THE WIN.
Then, my first ruit game in the month of October. (depressing, I know). This round: Faux Dream Team vs. Dan and Ashton (no, they don't get a cool nickname). But wait, then Ashton bailed and Joanna played with Dan. So I change my mind: Faux Dream Team vs. This Could Have Been True Love Freshman Year.
Listen, I was good. Ask Cookie. You guys know I'm good. But somehow, Dan was better. I failed. Well, really, Cookie failed (sorry BFF).
Anywho, Chad was the first to arrive at this hoppin' partay. Do you know Chad? Apparently he's the new Nick. Instantly Judah and Cookie found a little bit of Nick in this ultimate bro, and they were immediately infatuated. Chad filled a little bit of that hole in their hearts, a hole that can only be filled by loud yelling, roshamming, and you-won't-ing. And also, stupid amounts of drinking that result in a Chad that can't stand up, has to be walked home early, and then is TEMS-ed. Sorry, Chad, if you read my blog and it's still too soon. You should have known that vodka and blue Hawaiin Punch is never a good idea.
Chad was so drunk, and Cookie and Judah were so enamored, that they tried to push the rest of the Georgia Moon on him!!! But I said no. That's Nick's. Real Nick's. Not ginger-Nick's.
At one point, Cookie asked me if it was a good time for him to pull out the cleaver. Again, I said no.
Cookie started putting random objects in the freezer and then giggled to himself about it. Things in the freezer: A red cup. Something I can't remember (oops). Apparently: ping pong balls. I can't find them, but I know they're in there. I will find them.
Cookie was standing behind me and spilled his beer on my back. I confronted him. He told me no, he didn't spill beer on me, he just jizzed on my back.
We played kings. Judah kept saying different places he's never had sex, trying to trick me into saying I had sex in his car. I did not have sex in Judah's car. It's too dirty. In the process, I looked like a slut in front of all my new super-cool enviro friends.
Lolz.
So, that was my night. I wasn't too into posting this morning, but Judah was pressuring me, so there it is. I will however, end this post with my very own:
FLASHBACK FRIDAY*
*property of Sue Harrison.
It's halloween 2009 at Dan and Ashton's room in Miller Hall at Tufts University. Bonesaw (age 19) wore the golden slut outfit. Ashton (age 19) was a unicorn (but you already knew that, didn't you?), a perennial favorite made by his friend, me! John (age 19) was swine-flu, and John's friend Jack wore Pabst Blue Ribbon.
Wish you guys were here to celebrate Halloween with us!! The case race would be so much easier if we had more than five people to drink two cases. Oh well, it shall be done.
Quote of the night, "Thing only thing you have to fear, is beer itself." - Cookie "John" Harrison.
Fortunately enough, I had an invite to a very elite, totally cool party: Ashton and Dan were hosting an Environmental Engineering bash at our house. There were at least eight people in our house last night!
So, I put away my calculator, threw on my jeggings, cracked open the beer ball, and was good to go.
First up, a round of ledger, Bash Brone style. Was that the name we came up with for me and Ashton? Something like that. Versus Dookie. Who do you think won? Exactly. BONESAW FOR THE WIN.
Then, my first ruit game in the month of October. (depressing, I know). This round: Faux Dream Team vs. Dan and Ashton (no, they don't get a cool nickname). But wait, then Ashton bailed and Joanna played with Dan. So I change my mind: Faux Dream Team vs. This Could Have Been True Love Freshman Year.
Listen, I was good. Ask Cookie. You guys know I'm good. But somehow, Dan was better. I failed. Well, really, Cookie failed (sorry BFF).
Anywho, Chad was the first to arrive at this hoppin' partay. Do you know Chad? Apparently he's the new Nick. Instantly Judah and Cookie found a little bit of Nick in this ultimate bro, and they were immediately infatuated. Chad filled a little bit of that hole in their hearts, a hole that can only be filled by loud yelling, roshamming, and you-won't-ing. And also, stupid amounts of drinking that result in a Chad that can't stand up, has to be walked home early, and then is TEMS-ed. Sorry, Chad, if you read my blog and it's still too soon. You should have known that vodka and blue Hawaiin Punch is never a good idea.
Chad was so drunk, and Cookie and Judah were so enamored, that they tried to push the rest of the Georgia Moon on him!!! But I said no. That's Nick's. Real Nick's. Not ginger-Nick's.
At one point, Cookie asked me if it was a good time for him to pull out the cleaver. Again, I said no.
Cookie started putting random objects in the freezer and then giggled to himself about it. Things in the freezer: A red cup. Something I can't remember (oops). Apparently: ping pong balls. I can't find them, but I know they're in there. I will find them.
Cookie was standing behind me and spilled his beer on my back. I confronted him. He told me no, he didn't spill beer on me, he just jizzed on my back.
We played kings. Judah kept saying different places he's never had sex, trying to trick me into saying I had sex in his car. I did not have sex in Judah's car. It's too dirty. In the process, I looked like a slut in front of all my new super-cool enviro friends.
Lolz.
So, that was my night. I wasn't too into posting this morning, but Judah was pressuring me, so there it is. I will however, end this post with my very own:
FLASHBACK FRIDAY*
*property of Sue Harrison.
Wish you guys were here to celebrate Halloween with us!! The case race would be so much easier if we had more than five people to drink two cases. Oh well, it shall be done.
Quote of the night, "Thing only thing you have to fear, is beer itself." - Cookie "John" Harrison.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
There is a devil's staff in my room
What's the real word for devil's staff? I think no one knows. Except right now I'm remembering that it is a pitchfork. Sorry, everyone last night for having to listening to me talk about my pitchfork with improper jargon.
So, my head hurts. And also, my hand hurts. It feels like someone big stepped on my hand and squished it around a little. I'm expecting bruising shortly. I wish I knew why. Ideas, any of my followers?
Last night started with everyone dressing up and going to Gargoyles on the Square with Ruth and Richard. Oooh, ahh. It was delicious. The boys all ordered duck confit, they enjoyed it, I was not offered a bite. I got chicken (Ruth and I are like twins. We sat across from each other), also delicious. Ruth told me that my house looks very nice and clean, and that she was very impressed with the organization. She told me not to hold Judah against her. I said I wouldn't. Especially because she was paying for my meal. She actually said that she found a couple boxes of food in Judah's room, and she apologized to me for putting them on my clean counters. I told her it was okay, no worries. Fast forward approximately 3 hours (Gargoyles was slowwwww. I don't know if I'm just too used to Chipotle's speedy service or what, but it was slowww), dessert time. Ruth and I decide to split something. She says that the truffle ice cream looks yummy. I say, "I think they mean the truffles like the fungus, which I hear tastes like gym socks." Everyone else at the table scoffs, thinking I watch too much Food Network and am over-cultured, and that it's truffles like the chocolate, duh. Confirm with the waitress. Who was right? Oh, maybe Bonesaw, trained by Ina Garten and Bobby Flay to recognize fanciness when she reads it on a menu. Ruth still looks intrigued by the truffle ice cream. I, in fact, am less intrigued but a) she's paying b) I don't want to be a wimp c) maybe I want to try it out a little. We get it. I'm the first to eat it. Feet. Mixed with old socks. Mixed with the glue they use to put on acrylic nails at salons. At first, the front of your palette tastes it, and it's overwhelmingly burning of BO. But then, (on my first few bites), the aftertaste and the taste in the back of your mouth actually tastes really interesting and maybe good. Have some more. Ruth is eating very, very slowly. Ruth stops eating it. Ruth wishes maybe that we had stuck to the S'mores ice cream sundae. I eat a good amount for the two of us. And then I realize that I'm eating something that is burning my mouth and tastes disgusting. So I stop. Ashton and Judah both like it, btw. Waitress said it was a love it or hate it thing, obviously. We leave the restaurant, my mouth is BURNING of truffles and every time I breathe, the taste of truffles refreshes itself. And I die a little more inside.
Go home, smores are waiting, I brush my mouth for about an hour. Okay, good to go. Cookie, Judah, the smores, and Holly the Neighbor Girl power hour with me. It's good. We've got our classic hits from the 2000s playing, we're drinking beer out of shot glasses, and Sweiss (hi Sweiss, you read my blog! I'm so excited!) had bought us a Brand New JUMBO'S REVENGE 3.0. From somewhere that's not America, how fancy. It's adorable. I'm so pumped to give one of you mono, who's going to be the lucky one??
About eleven, C, J, HNG, and I head to Theta Chi for its Heaven and Hell party. We're making fun of TC, thinking that Dan and Ashton are being silly for thinking Theta Chi (hah) will have a big line at eleven. Well, they were actually right. The line was huge. But as we walked onto the street, I saw my BFFAE (Jack knows what the AE means now, but I don't think he reads my blog) Danny Wittels on top of the stairs. I motion to him. He nods. I push my way through literally thousands of people- oh no, it was terrible for everyone else to get pushed by me- while Cookie holds my hand. We make it to the top. Within thirty seconds we get in. Oh, sorry everyone else at Tufts waiting in the cold, my BF Natty Wittman (that was for my friend Cookie, and should not reflect my feelings on either my boyfriend or the alcoholic beverage) is in Theta Chi! I felt so cool. Then we got in, saw some TC bros. Adi said, "Hey, other Christen" (FYI his girlfriend is also some variation of Kristen). I said, "Hey, other Adi!" He looked confused and was like, "No, I called you other Christen because my girlfriend is also Kristen." And I was like, "duh." And walked away.
So Cookie and I caught up with Shaye and my "steady" aka Fall Ball she-likes-grinding-on-me-way-too-much Virginia. Shaye was hammered. She had been at Theta Chi since 10PM, to give you an estimate of how drunk she much have been. At one point we were in the basement, and she asked me "Can you touch the ceiling? I just love touching the ceiling here." (For the record, I could. It was grimy.)
This post is getting long. So we're switching to the highlights reel:
1) Later that night, Shaye came up to me and asked if she should hook up with an 18-year-old boy. He looked cute. I told her to go for it. She left. But then I noticed the boy wasn't really walking with her. I cock-facilitated by sort of pushing him with my back like 5 feet towards the door. Shaye left, he didn't. I was upset. I pushed the boy some more and stood in between him and some other girls. Then I found out that wasn't the boy Shaye was talking about. Oops. Sorry, Wrong Boy, for cock-blocking whilst trying to cock-facilitate.
2) Ashton gave me his Devil's staff. Shirtless B-Rod told me to poke the boys I don't like with it. I did that. A lot. Oops. I also used it to control the flow of traffic through a hallway, and to try to stop someone from cutting in line for the bathroom.
3) Cookie had to pee. He asked me to be his girlfriend (as in girlfriendz) and wait in line for the bathroom with him. Duh, I did it. We made friends with this boy in front of Cookie, Charlie, the boy with braces. I made fun of his braces gently, then told him it was okay, because Brian Shiltz-y, who used to be quarterback for Tufts, had braces. Charlie liked us. He was a freshman, and we made him seem cool. His friend David came up in line also. We told them our names were Cookie and Bone. They did not believe us, but then I pinky-promised with David so then they did. We talked to them for at least twenty minutes. They were fun. Also in line for the bathroom was a guy and girl, and they looked awkward together and the girl had a huge, Haley-sized hickey on her neck. So I asked the guy if he gave it to her. He didn't. Oops.
4) Cookie finishes in the bathroom. We go downstairs. Sit on a chair with Ashton. Talking casually, you know, fun, and then- I look up!- and there's a copper standing next to us. He asks this clearly underage girl, "How old are you?" Cookie looks at me. I look at Cookie. Inwardly we laugh at the silly Medford accent. And then we dip faster than we've ever dipped before. Outside there was a guy getting handcuffed. Eeek.
5) Walker Street. We want to video chat Haley! But she's not on :( So we post this awesome, perfect 5 minute video on her wall! And then it doesn't save. So then we make five smaller ones, making sure that they don't go too long!! And it was good.
6) A few Theta Chi boys always always ask me why my name's Bone. I'm getting tired of it. So the past few times, I've just been saying it's because I like having sex with Matt Wittman so much. And then I walk away.
7) Judah bought me a Disney Princess nightlight. It's beautiful and above my bed.
So, my head hurts. And also, my hand hurts. It feels like someone big stepped on my hand and squished it around a little. I'm expecting bruising shortly. I wish I knew why. Ideas, any of my followers?
Last night started with everyone dressing up and going to Gargoyles on the Square with Ruth and Richard. Oooh, ahh. It was delicious. The boys all ordered duck confit, they enjoyed it, I was not offered a bite. I got chicken (Ruth and I are like twins. We sat across from each other), also delicious. Ruth told me that my house looks very nice and clean, and that she was very impressed with the organization. She told me not to hold Judah against her. I said I wouldn't. Especially because she was paying for my meal. She actually said that she found a couple boxes of food in Judah's room, and she apologized to me for putting them on my clean counters. I told her it was okay, no worries. Fast forward approximately 3 hours (Gargoyles was slowwwww. I don't know if I'm just too used to Chipotle's speedy service or what, but it was slowww), dessert time. Ruth and I decide to split something. She says that the truffle ice cream looks yummy. I say, "I think they mean the truffles like the fungus, which I hear tastes like gym socks." Everyone else at the table scoffs, thinking I watch too much Food Network and am over-cultured, and that it's truffles like the chocolate, duh. Confirm with the waitress. Who was right? Oh, maybe Bonesaw, trained by Ina Garten and Bobby Flay to recognize fanciness when she reads it on a menu. Ruth still looks intrigued by the truffle ice cream. I, in fact, am less intrigued but a) she's paying b) I don't want to be a wimp c) maybe I want to try it out a little. We get it. I'm the first to eat it. Feet. Mixed with old socks. Mixed with the glue they use to put on acrylic nails at salons. At first, the front of your palette tastes it, and it's overwhelmingly burning of BO. But then, (on my first few bites), the aftertaste and the taste in the back of your mouth actually tastes really interesting and maybe good. Have some more. Ruth is eating very, very slowly. Ruth stops eating it. Ruth wishes maybe that we had stuck to the S'mores ice cream sundae. I eat a good amount for the two of us. And then I realize that I'm eating something that is burning my mouth and tastes disgusting. So I stop. Ashton and Judah both like it, btw. Waitress said it was a love it or hate it thing, obviously. We leave the restaurant, my mouth is BURNING of truffles and every time I breathe, the taste of truffles refreshes itself. And I die a little more inside.
Go home, smores are waiting, I brush my mouth for about an hour. Okay, good to go. Cookie, Judah, the smores, and Holly the Neighbor Girl power hour with me. It's good. We've got our classic hits from the 2000s playing, we're drinking beer out of shot glasses, and Sweiss (hi Sweiss, you read my blog! I'm so excited!) had bought us a Brand New JUMBO'S REVENGE 3.0. From somewhere that's not America, how fancy. It's adorable. I'm so pumped to give one of you mono, who's going to be the lucky one??
About eleven, C, J, HNG, and I head to Theta Chi for its Heaven and Hell party. We're making fun of TC, thinking that Dan and Ashton are being silly for thinking Theta Chi (hah) will have a big line at eleven. Well, they were actually right. The line was huge. But as we walked onto the street, I saw my BFFAE (Jack knows what the AE means now, but I don't think he reads my blog) Danny Wittels on top of the stairs. I motion to him. He nods. I push my way through literally thousands of people- oh no, it was terrible for everyone else to get pushed by me- while Cookie holds my hand. We make it to the top. Within thirty seconds we get in. Oh, sorry everyone else at Tufts waiting in the cold, my BF Natty Wittman (that was for my friend Cookie, and should not reflect my feelings on either my boyfriend or the alcoholic beverage) is in Theta Chi! I felt so cool. Then we got in, saw some TC bros. Adi said, "Hey, other Christen" (FYI his girlfriend is also some variation of Kristen). I said, "Hey, other Adi!" He looked confused and was like, "No, I called you other Christen because my girlfriend is also Kristen." And I was like, "duh." And walked away.
So Cookie and I caught up with Shaye and my "steady" aka Fall Ball she-likes-grinding-on-me-way-too-much Virginia. Shaye was hammered. She had been at Theta Chi since 10PM, to give you an estimate of how drunk she much have been. At one point we were in the basement, and she asked me "Can you touch the ceiling? I just love touching the ceiling here." (For the record, I could. It was grimy.)
This post is getting long. So we're switching to the highlights reel:
1) Later that night, Shaye came up to me and asked if she should hook up with an 18-year-old boy. He looked cute. I told her to go for it. She left. But then I noticed the boy wasn't really walking with her. I cock-facilitated by sort of pushing him with my back like 5 feet towards the door. Shaye left, he didn't. I was upset. I pushed the boy some more and stood in between him and some other girls. Then I found out that wasn't the boy Shaye was talking about. Oops. Sorry, Wrong Boy, for cock-blocking whilst trying to cock-facilitate.
2) Ashton gave me his Devil's staff. Shirtless B-Rod told me to poke the boys I don't like with it. I did that. A lot. Oops. I also used it to control the flow of traffic through a hallway, and to try to stop someone from cutting in line for the bathroom.
3) Cookie had to pee. He asked me to be his girlfriend (as in girlfriendz) and wait in line for the bathroom with him. Duh, I did it. We made friends with this boy in front of Cookie, Charlie, the boy with braces. I made fun of his braces gently, then told him it was okay, because Brian Shiltz-y, who used to be quarterback for Tufts, had braces. Charlie liked us. He was a freshman, and we made him seem cool. His friend David came up in line also. We told them our names were Cookie and Bone. They did not believe us, but then I pinky-promised with David so then they did. We talked to them for at least twenty minutes. They were fun. Also in line for the bathroom was a guy and girl, and they looked awkward together and the girl had a huge, Haley-sized hickey on her neck. So I asked the guy if he gave it to her. He didn't. Oops.
4) Cookie finishes in the bathroom. We go downstairs. Sit on a chair with Ashton. Talking casually, you know, fun, and then- I look up!- and there's a copper standing next to us. He asks this clearly underage girl, "How old are you?" Cookie looks at me. I look at Cookie. Inwardly we laugh at the silly Medford accent. And then we dip faster than we've ever dipped before. Outside there was a guy getting handcuffed. Eeek.
5) Walker Street. We want to video chat Haley! But she's not on :( So we post this awesome, perfect 5 minute video on her wall! And then it doesn't save. So then we make five smaller ones, making sure that they don't go too long!! And it was good.
6) A few Theta Chi boys always always ask me why my name's Bone. I'm getting tired of it. So the past few times, I've just been saying it's because I like having sex with Matt Wittman so much. And then I walk away.
7) Judah bought me a Disney Princess nightlight. It's beautiful and above my bed.
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Homecoming
So, last year at homecoming we were all together, Kate Farrell was with us, Jillian was just getting wasted-er, and Tufts miraculously won in the end. Well, I'm sure Jillian got wasted-er again, but nothing else was the same. We still had some fun though, no worries. I woke up wicked early for tutoring with my Andrea, was at Tisch with approximately five really lame students, and got stood up by my girl. While everyone else in the world was drinking, I was waiting in Tisch for forty minutes. Finally, at 10:40, I determined that Andrea was indeed not going to show, so I went to go get my drink on. Mimosas, anyone? Slightly classier than last year's Keystone and whiskey. Not that I don't love a good keystone. Want to know the beer in our house right now? Natty Ice. Fo realz. I don't understand it either. When Theta Chi had a party at our house, one of the brothers tried convincing me that Natty was better than Keystone. No one has heard from him since that fateful night.
(JK guys, I'm sure he's around somewhere) Anywho, I went home, Dan and Ashton were leaving for Homo Time, and Judah and Cookie were at the AT&T store because Judah wanted a new phone and he wanted it right now! So, classic bsaw, I sat down, put on the food network, and started drinking some mimosas by my lonesome. C and J returned soon, and we spent three hours sitting and drinking. It was glorious, or at least I think I remember it was glorious. We listened to music, Cooks forced the Tufts song on us at least 12 times, we played some Beibs, and not much else happened. But then my phone accidentally called Andrew, I hung up, Cookie called Andrew, Cookie put Cookie's phone in Cookie's mouth while talking to Andrew (Cookie was very excited), and then we skyped Andrew! It was fun! (Drizz, we miss you!) He's coming to visit the week before Thanksgiving, anyone else want to come over too?!?!? I hear it's cheap to fly from Europe to America the weekend before Thanksgiving. Besides, I'm worth it! Sooo, then we went to the football game (by that I mean a truck that had a thousand hamburgers and hotdogs and Theti Chi brothers). Every group and frat just happened to have a pick up truck handy for tailgating. I'm not sure how. What if you don't have one? I don't know of anyone who owns a pick up truck. Maybe they rent them to look cool? Will ask later. Blowfish was handling the grill, which was good for me because a bunch of bitties were trying to score some food, but Blowfish paid special attention to my hotdog and hamburger needs. Kerry what's-her-face that whipped Coco with Ashton's belt came up to Blowfish and asked him for some food, and Blowfish jokingly asked her, "How do you know the Theta Chi brothers?" And I was right there and drunk and all I wanted to do was stick my head into their conversation and say, "Besides biblically?" But alas, I was a good bone. I am a good bone.
Then we actually went to the game, watched the last quarter, watched Tufts blow their lead in the last four minutes of the game, disappointing. But actually I couldn't have cared less. Went home, everyone but Cookie took naps, then we woke up, Dan, Ashton, and Judah ordered the most giant of buffalo chicken calzones from Helen's (no, not a bluezone. They regret it.), and we watched some real college football until we went to sleep.
Yes. Quite boring. Judah tried some hair of the dog at 8 at night. For the record: hair of the dog is a stupid thing that only the Nick Stones of the world believe in, and does not actually work.
So, that was homecoming. I know. Maybe if you guys were here, someone would have peed on my shoes, or Nick Stone would have won homecoming king (imagine having to hear that homecoming story), Jumbos would have crushed, or if Matt Wittman were here, he and I would have cuddled on Ashton's bed again.
(JK guys, I'm sure he's around somewhere) Anywho, I went home, Dan and Ashton were leaving for Homo Time, and Judah and Cookie were at the AT&T store because Judah wanted a new phone and he wanted it right now! So, classic bsaw, I sat down, put on the food network, and started drinking some mimosas by my lonesome. C and J returned soon, and we spent three hours sitting and drinking. It was glorious, or at least I think I remember it was glorious. We listened to music, Cooks forced the Tufts song on us at least 12 times, we played some Beibs, and not much else happened. But then my phone accidentally called Andrew, I hung up, Cookie called Andrew, Cookie put Cookie's phone in Cookie's mouth while talking to Andrew (Cookie was very excited), and then we skyped Andrew! It was fun! (Drizz, we miss you!) He's coming to visit the week before Thanksgiving, anyone else want to come over too?!?!? I hear it's cheap to fly from Europe to America the weekend before Thanksgiving. Besides, I'm worth it! Sooo, then we went to the football game (by that I mean a truck that had a thousand hamburgers and hotdogs and Theti Chi brothers). Every group and frat just happened to have a pick up truck handy for tailgating. I'm not sure how. What if you don't have one? I don't know of anyone who owns a pick up truck. Maybe they rent them to look cool? Will ask later. Blowfish was handling the grill, which was good for me because a bunch of bitties were trying to score some food, but Blowfish paid special attention to my hotdog and hamburger needs. Kerry what's-her-face that whipped Coco with Ashton's belt came up to Blowfish and asked him for some food, and Blowfish jokingly asked her, "How do you know the Theta Chi brothers?" And I was right there and drunk and all I wanted to do was stick my head into their conversation and say, "Besides biblically?" But alas, I was a good bone. I am a good bone.
Then we actually went to the game, watched the last quarter, watched Tufts blow their lead in the last four minutes of the game, disappointing. But actually I couldn't have cared less. Went home, everyone but Cookie took naps, then we woke up, Dan, Ashton, and Judah ordered the most giant of buffalo chicken calzones from Helen's (no, not a bluezone. They regret it.), and we watched some real college football until we went to sleep.
Yes. Quite boring. Judah tried some hair of the dog at 8 at night. For the record: hair of the dog is a stupid thing that only the Nick Stones of the world believe in, and does not actually work.
So, that was homecoming. I know. Maybe if you guys were here, someone would have peed on my shoes, or Nick Stone would have won homecoming king (imagine having to hear that homecoming story), Jumbos would have crushed, or if Matt Wittman were here, he and I would have cuddled on Ashton's bed again.
Saturday, September 25, 2010
theta chi throws a party for me!
Hi hi. So Cooks has told me I don't update my blog enough... I can't think of why he'd say that. Anywho, so I decided very drunk last night that I should wait until the morning to post, mostly because I think the computer screen made me too dizzy and nauseous. Not as dizzy and nauseous as Cookie apparently, due to his email last night, "twelvsies." Sloppy.
So last weekend nothing too eventful happened, hence my lack of posting. This week was totally and completely torturous, so Thursday night (the weekend- I don't have class on Fridays finally!) I drank a lot. We played some Ledger, which I AM GOOD AT. Fo realz. Dan doesn't believe me but everyone else knows. We played wicked awesome slap cup with just four people. Revelation- slap cup is a great game when played solely by people who are good at it. And no one's not drinking, or being a bitch. Then we played some other game I don't remember (I might have gotten drunk), and then I went to sleep.
Friday: I went to the gym hungover- not a great decision, but overall not a bad one. I had a dream about psycho chickens trying to eat everyone around me. Ashton and I went to Costco- got some free samples and dolla fitty hotdogs and refills. Then I tutored my girl (I have to tutor her again in 34 minutes, so I have to get this post moving along), came home, cleaned the house, Cookie and I went on a date! Sorry Troy!
Side note, I mentioned to Cookie that it was a date. He said not to tell Troy. I asked if that meant they were exclusive (!!). He responded, "I mean, not officially, but if I'm in Abi Benudis' basement, I wouldn't make out with Abi in front of Troy." Good call, Cooks. We went to Qdobs, delish. Came back, set up the house.
Then the party started eventually! We ledged a game, Ashton and I won by at least 7 (I told you guys I'm good!), Danny Wittels was very impressed by Ledger.
Things of note from last night:
1. I played ruit at least thirty times. Every brother/boy in the house/Billy who didn't have a party kept pulling me over to be theirs. Mostly because I was ON FIRE. Not ever technically, but I was awesome.
2. Danny Wittels and I got along last night, surprise, surprise. I think he's becoming less of a douche as he physically lets himeself go. We played the first game of ruit and won in double over time.
2. Brendan Blaney and I became friends. He does not seem to be ticklish, which is weird.
3. Joel introduced me to this girl he brought. We literally said, "Hi, my name is _____." And the next thing Girl says to me is, "Your voice is really hi." Really. I nearly punched her. She then followed it up (I think she noticed her faux pas) by saying it was adorable, but the damage was done. Joel later came up to me and apologized for Girl also.
4. I Imperialed Judah, and he was too big a bitch to drink it. So Liza volunteered, and she may have vommed.
5. Don't tell the brothers- it was one of the Rush boy's birthdays at midnight at the party, and I told him it was Theta Chi tradition for all the brothers to give the birthday boy sloppy french kisses. Hehe.
6.Cookie and I were playing the last game of the night, we were in overtime and things were getting dicey. So I put on I Want You Back and we won the game.
7. Not of the night, but still of note: I bought new frat flats: exactly the same, but these haven't been peed on yet.
8. Liza tried to hook up with Ashton. Blowfish's friend tried to hook up with Ashton. Judah tried to hook up with Ashton (not really). Mira tried to hook up with Ashton, but I mentioned Abi as his "gf" in front of her casually and then she left immediately.
9. The cops came, boo. They made us break up the party. Some girl kept wandering around afterward because she was looking for her earring. It was about the size of her head and shaped like a leaf, so it's really better off for her that she lost it. Also I overheard some big fat girl say one time a guy she was dancing with nibble her earring off. Ew.
That's about it for now, I'm headed to Tisch soon. I didn't take many pictures last night, because I was too busy winning all types of drinking games, but they'll probs be up soon.
So last weekend nothing too eventful happened, hence my lack of posting. This week was totally and completely torturous, so Thursday night (the weekend- I don't have class on Fridays finally!) I drank a lot. We played some Ledger, which I AM GOOD AT. Fo realz. Dan doesn't believe me but everyone else knows. We played wicked awesome slap cup with just four people. Revelation- slap cup is a great game when played solely by people who are good at it. And no one's not drinking, or being a bitch. Then we played some other game I don't remember (I might have gotten drunk), and then I went to sleep.
Friday: I went to the gym hungover- not a great decision, but overall not a bad one. I had a dream about psycho chickens trying to eat everyone around me. Ashton and I went to Costco- got some free samples and dolla fitty hotdogs and refills. Then I tutored my girl (I have to tutor her again in 34 minutes, so I have to get this post moving along), came home, cleaned the house, Cookie and I went on a date! Sorry Troy!
Side note, I mentioned to Cookie that it was a date. He said not to tell Troy. I asked if that meant they were exclusive (!!). He responded, "I mean, not officially, but if I'm in Abi Benudis' basement, I wouldn't make out with Abi in front of Troy." Good call, Cooks. We went to Qdobs, delish. Came back, set up the house.
Then the party started eventually! We ledged a game, Ashton and I won by at least 7 (I told you guys I'm good!), Danny Wittels was very impressed by Ledger.
Things of note from last night:
1. I played ruit at least thirty times. Every brother/boy in the house/Billy who didn't have a party kept pulling me over to be theirs. Mostly because I was ON FIRE. Not ever technically, but I was awesome.
2. Danny Wittels and I got along last night, surprise, surprise. I think he's becoming less of a douche as he physically lets himeself go. We played the first game of ruit and won in double over time.
2. Brendan Blaney and I became friends. He does not seem to be ticklish, which is weird.
3. Joel introduced me to this girl he brought. We literally said, "Hi, my name is _____." And the next thing Girl says to me is, "Your voice is really hi." Really. I nearly punched her. She then followed it up (I think she noticed her faux pas) by saying it was adorable, but the damage was done. Joel later came up to me and apologized for Girl also.
4. I Imperialed Judah, and he was too big a bitch to drink it. So Liza volunteered, and she may have vommed.
5. Don't tell the brothers- it was one of the Rush boy's birthdays at midnight at the party, and I told him it was Theta Chi tradition for all the brothers to give the birthday boy sloppy french kisses. Hehe.
6.Cookie and I were playing the last game of the night, we were in overtime and things were getting dicey. So I put on I Want You Back and we won the game.
7. Not of the night, but still of note: I bought new frat flats: exactly the same, but these haven't been peed on yet.
8. Liza tried to hook up with Ashton. Blowfish's friend tried to hook up with Ashton. Judah tried to hook up with Ashton (not really). Mira tried to hook up with Ashton, but I mentioned Abi as his "gf" in front of her casually and then she left immediately.
9. The cops came, boo. They made us break up the party. Some girl kept wandering around afterward because she was looking for her earring. It was about the size of her head and shaped like a leaf, so it's really better off for her that she lost it. Also I overheard some big fat girl say one time a guy she was dancing with nibble her earring off. Ew.
That's about it for now, I'm headed to Tisch soon. I didn't take many pictures last night, because I was too busy winning all types of drinking games, but they'll probs be up soon.
Friday, September 10, 2010
This is a Post.
This post is dedicated to Haley, so now she can never again be mad at me for not posting about our lives.
Tonight was fall ball. We all got dressed up (see our facebook photos, soon to be uploaded), we all looked good. All the boys invited their focus kids to our house for a kickin' pregame. We started at seven thirty. I made the first hard-liquor drink of one boy's life. I added loads of vodka. He then followed me a around a bit. We also taught some kids how to play the game of "bei ruit." Another boy fell for the B1 charm and was in love with me instantly. I had the guys let him down gently, telling him I already had a Matt Wittman. Poor boy, being turned down by his dream girl. I became "best friend steadies" with two girls tonight (Haley, just until you're back. And maybe not that long. You're my true best friend), and we danced the night away. Tonight was the first night I got hard-core grinded up on by another girl. (Two different girls, actually). It wasn't especially thrilling, but the second time it was done to save me from this Lurking Big Guy. Operation successful.
The winner for sloppiest moment of the night (and grossest moment of my entire life):
One of my best friend steadies and I were at the head of the line for the girls' room when a girl pushed past everyone, saying she really had to go to the bathroom. She was directly next to me. I feel a splashing of water at my feet. I look around, wondering who was throwing water. No water bottles. I see this girl's legs: water streaming down the insides of them. I double check to see if maybe she's spilling water on herself. Again, no water bottle in sight. She PEED on my feet. She left a puddle underneath her. She had been in a panic to get to the bathroom (even during the streaming of pee), but then (presumably when she was done, because the splashing on my feet had stopped) she just turned around, away from the bathroom, and went out to the dance.
That happened.
As for DFMs:
Judah met up with this girl (no one knows who she is). Once we find out who she is and more about her, I will update again. But they were making out and dancing the whole time. And now they're both in his room with the door closed and a tie on the knob.
Cooks had been texting Troy throughout the night. He found Troy. I saw them holding hands by the refreshment table, and then again on the street. I then saw her lead Cookie back to her house on Bromfield (or that area). Have not heard from him. EEK. Bitch, he was supposed to take me to Helen's.
Dan and Ashton have so far got nothing (that I know of); they're currently downstairs with some focus jerks. But Ashton does have his big date tomorrow night! <3 That I planned, so you know it will be wicked romantic.
I would like to go to sleep now. And I am the master of my blog, so I am able to choose to do so. Happy readings,
Bonesaw.
Tonight was fall ball. We all got dressed up (see our facebook photos, soon to be uploaded), we all looked good. All the boys invited their focus kids to our house for a kickin' pregame. We started at seven thirty. I made the first hard-liquor drink of one boy's life. I added loads of vodka. He then followed me a around a bit. We also taught some kids how to play the game of "bei ruit." Another boy fell for the B1 charm and was in love with me instantly. I had the guys let him down gently, telling him I already had a Matt Wittman. Poor boy, being turned down by his dream girl. I became "best friend steadies" with two girls tonight (Haley, just until you're back. And maybe not that long. You're my true best friend), and we danced the night away. Tonight was the first night I got hard-core grinded up on by another girl. (Two different girls, actually). It wasn't especially thrilling, but the second time it was done to save me from this Lurking Big Guy. Operation successful.
The winner for sloppiest moment of the night (and grossest moment of my entire life):
One of my best friend steadies and I were at the head of the line for the girls' room when a girl pushed past everyone, saying she really had to go to the bathroom. She was directly next to me. I feel a splashing of water at my feet. I look around, wondering who was throwing water. No water bottles. I see this girl's legs: water streaming down the insides of them. I double check to see if maybe she's spilling water on herself. Again, no water bottle in sight. She PEED on my feet. She left a puddle underneath her. She had been in a panic to get to the bathroom (even during the streaming of pee), but then (presumably when she was done, because the splashing on my feet had stopped) she just turned around, away from the bathroom, and went out to the dance.
That happened.
As for DFMs:
Judah met up with this girl (no one knows who she is). Once we find out who she is and more about her, I will update again. But they were making out and dancing the whole time. And now they're both in his room with the door closed and a tie on the knob.
Cooks had been texting Troy throughout the night. He found Troy. I saw them holding hands by the refreshment table, and then again on the street. I then saw her lead Cookie back to her house on Bromfield (or that area). Have not heard from him. EEK. Bitch, he was supposed to take me to Helen's.
Dan and Ashton have so far got nothing (that I know of); they're currently downstairs with some focus jerks. But Ashton does have his big date tomorrow night! <3 That I planned, so you know it will be wicked romantic.
I would like to go to sleep now. And I am the master of my blog, so I am able to choose to do so. Happy readings,
Bonesaw.
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
It's a Blog!
Haley has an awesome blog. So now I have an awesome blog! This is where I, our group's replacement Haley-picture-taker for the Medford/Somerville area for fall semester, will post all of our pictures at Tufts and everyone else (with the exception of Nick, who is too communist for blogspot) will be so jealous of all of our fun that they will have to leave their study abroad countries and return home immediately. At least that's the plan.
So. First item on the to-do list: buy a camera. Any donations from Ruth will be readily accepted.
Also, I have no idea how I would go about putting pictures on the internet. So help with that would be cool too.
That's it.
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